Cryptic and Angsty.

Day 2: Your First Love

Goddamn, if there were ever a subject that is difficult to define. Even more important than figuring out which love was 'first', is which, if any of my past relationships even fall into that category. Also, would you define "your first love" as the first person you loved, or the first person you shared mutual love with? I haven't exactly had many relationships, but each one had a surmountable degree of awkward to them. I've had relationships that I can easily brush off as poor judgement or hasty starts, that almost always ended with me just loathing the person and phasing them out over time. However, it's just as easy for me to single out the first instance where the guy genuinely meant something to me, and where that feeling never went away, but only got more and more intense.
Forgive me, but details are not my favorite thing to reminisce in this context. I will say that I spent a disproportionate amount of time building up to this relationship to the time I actually spent in it. My feelings had built up for a good four years, sometimes on the backburner, usually in the front of my mind. When it seemed like I'd squandered enough time and chances I took a risk, and it ended up paying off. This thing was not perfect. There were issues among various third parties, and the guy himself had not ended up being the same one I fell for (four years of high school can change a person). But relationship-wise, it was the most glorious few months I've ever had.
We had similar interests on nearly every spectrum, everything he wanted to do I was up for, and vice-versa. Every insecurity I had was immediatly put to rest. This was the only time I felt genuinely cared for and thought about. A day came when I really couldn't handle being alone, so a class was skipped in favor of getting ice cream and seeing a movie together. He's still the only guy to ask me if I wanted to see the stars with him, then actually deliver on it. There was even a goddamn metal rose constructed from a can of Dr. Pepper. I had become so accustomed to all the little things that it never occurred to me that I'd be missing it in the future. I have no desire to discuss how all of this was ripped away from me, but I will make it known that when I did end it, it wasn't because I was ready.

The Fankenstein Blog Challeeeengee!

Kind of a badass name, not gonna lie.
This challenge was put together by a friend of mine. It's made up of the severed bits of other challenges, and apparently exist as some sort of juicy, horrendous abomination of 30-day-challenge nature. To break it down:

Day 1: The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name
Day 2: Your First Love
Day 3: Something You're Afraid Of
Day 4: Your Nicknames
Day 5: Something You've Learned
Day 6: What's In Your Bag? Things You Don't Leave Your House Without
Day 7: Something That Stresses You Out
Day 8: Something You Could Never Get Tired Of Doing
Day 9: Things You Crave a Lot
Day 10: 10 Things You Want To Do Before You Die
Day 11: An Animal You'd Love To Have As a Pet
Day 12: Pet Peeves/OCD Habits
Day 13: Your Favorite Book(s)
Day 14: Your Favorite Song(s)
Day 15: Your Favorite Movie(s)
Day 16: Your Motto: Words You Live By
Day 17: Favorite Quotes
Day 18: Something You Want To Buy
Day 19: 3 Wishes
Day 20: List 20 of Your Favorite Things
Day 21: Your Dream House
Day 22: A Song Matching Your Mood
Day 23: A Photo Of Yourself From Three or More Years Ago
Day 24: A Bad Habit You Wish You Didn't Have
Day 25: Places You've Traveled To
Day 26: Favorite Super Hero(s)
Day 27: Songs You Listen To In Different Moods
Day 28: Something You Are Recently Proud Of
Day 29: Your Earliest Memory
Day 30: Things That Make You Think "What If I Had___Instead of___"

Some bits I like, some I dread. But overall it's the best one I've come upon. So here's

Day 1: The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name.
My blog name comes from the first H.P. Lovecraft story that I actually read. It's called "The Colour Out of Space". I like space, I like colors. But a whole new color that comes from the stars? There's a trip. However, this color does tend to cause insanity and suck the life from a family of innocent farmers. Go figure. Also, it may have become a sentient and sinister entity over time.

"The Colour Out of Space" is by no means my favorite Lovecraft tale. That spot's reserved for "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" followed closely by "the Call of Cthulu". But neither of  those really translated to a decent blog title.

When in Doubt, Review Shit!

Well I'm already pretty stumped as far as new updates go, and I don't feel like starting one of those 30 day challenges quite yet. So get ready for some opinions!

Robot Unicorn Attack: Heavy Metal, surprisingly epic.

If by some miracle you haven't played the original Robot Unicorn Attack (the flash game by Adult Swim), go do it now. It is fucking magical. Sure, it may be nothing but a simple side-scroller where your only options are to jump, double jump, or dash through obstacles. But coupled with the mesmerizing tune "Always" by Erasure, you will reach absolute zen, and possibly make your dreams come true.
Now the newer version, subtitled "Heavy Metal", has undergone a re-design which replaces the rainbows and fairies with fire, blood, and banshees. It's been out for a while now, but I had yet to really play up until recently. I had assumed that due to the bland gameplay it would be unenjoyable without the song. The new song, however, gets the job done. "Battlefield" by Blind Guardian won't help you achieve enlightenment or fill you with joy, but it will get you pumped and ready to blow shit up. Blind Guardian tends to do that. Just look at "Turn the Page" or "Mordred's Song".
As much as I enjoy Robot Unicorn Attack, I will admit I'm kind of shit at it. I don't think I've ever gotten more than 30,000 in one round...

 

Soul Eater: ...Why Not?

The moon does this. That's all you need to know.

 First things first, this anime is longer than most (unless your counting Bleach or DBZ), a sizable 50+ episodes. Despite that, it downloaded in just a few hours. The basic premise: There are certain humans who posses the ability to transform into weapons (swords, guns, scythes, etc.). Each weapon is paired with a "Meister" who wields them, in a sort of "wand chooses the wizard" compatibility trial. Whether or not a weapon and meister can work together depends on a few things, like "matching soul wavelengths" and other complicated jargon. Weapons get stronger by consuming corrupted souls, as well as the souls of Witches, the series' main form of enemy. The story takes place at a school established by Death himself for aspiring weapons and meisters.

plus it's got this guy.

The animation quality is good overall, just what you'd expect from an anime by Square Enix. Its attempts to be cute and light hearted while being quite disturbing at times is reminiscent of Fullmetal Alchemist (also by Square Enix).

The characters... eh, they seem a tad forced. I enjoy Maka as the main character because she's the one thing that no central anime female can be: she's plain. I mean really plain. Ambition is her defining characteristic, and at the same time she isn't overpowered to the point of being unrealistic. Black Star annoys the shit out of me, just to get him out of the way, and "Death the Kid" can be amusing at times. Soul Evans is easily my favorite, probably because he was designed to be THE favorite. He's got darkhorse quirks galore, and his entire personality seems to contradict itself at times, what with being wild yet cool, and selfless yet detatched and aloof. He's everything, so he can appeal to everyone.

The Asshat, The OCD, The "Strong Female", and The Omnibus.

It's not bad if you're bored and looking for a different show to watch. My final verdict? Like a cross between Bleach and Naruto, only without the loudmouthed, blonde asshat protagonist (interperet that however you want).

The Sternum Quandary of Unnecessary Analysis

First things first, a tattoo MUST mean something. To you. It doesn't have so be specific, the idea can be vague. But dear god, the excuse should never be,"Ummm.. I dunno! It just looked cool/pretty!".
That said, lately I've been fixing to get a design set for a tattoo on my sternum (yeah, the spot between your boobies). I'm currently stuck between two very different ideas: a Shoggoth from Lovecraftian fiction, or the Saiyan crest. They each stand for very different sides of myself. Now for some background.


Saiyans: Your crash course!

Basically this design

Yeah, I'm talking about the steroid-riddled monkeys from Dragonball Z. My hate for monkeys aside, the Saiyan race is a huge source of proverbial inspiration concerning all things physical. Known as the biggest badasses in the galaxy, Saiyans lived to fight and overcome deadly situations. They were taught to show no fear or pain, and take whatever they want. The Saiyan crest was on all of their flags, as well as the armor of their king. On me, it would remind me to stick to my ambitions, do what I want, and not pussy out so quick on my morning runs (lame in comparison). I also plan on getting into some form of self-defense class before starting college, rendering it even more relevant.

please don't kill me

 

 

 

And then there's our friend the Shoggoth.
This one's harder to get a solid design for, mostly since a shoggoth is an amorphous, horrific blob of eyes, mouths, and tentacles. And lots of win. We all know I like my Lovecraft, but enough to get a tattoo? We shall see.

I thought this was a great design. Only on paper and styled a bit more simple.

 

 

As the tales go, Shoggoths began as servants of the old ones, they built their cities and guarded them through the eons. At some point they grew brains and rebelled, attempting to start their own society modeled after that of their masters. When encountered by humans in Lovecraft's stories, they cause madness and destruction.
I'm a little messed up, or at least the things I'm into can be. And since shoggoths can be any shape, they are the logical symbol of choice to represent my stranger side. Fun fact: if anyone reads Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, there is a monster that bursts from Johnny's wall that I have always wanted to get a tattoo of. However, I faced a similar issue of how to do it, as this thing is also a sort of horrific amoeba. It occurred to me that this monster may have been a shoggoth the whole time, or at least modeled to look like one, since Jhonen Vasquez is also into H.P. Lovecraft's stuff. Seriously, do a google image search of shoggoth, and they're basically the same thing.

lawl

 

 

I don't have to get the shoggoth tattooed on my sternum, though. It just seems like the most simplistic area. I'll have a good several months to decide, due to my mandatory wait between the time I get an idea for a tattoo, and the time I actually have it done.

Time for a Dream

Sometimes awesome dreams happen. Like the sort that seem so real that I'm genuinely surprised (sometimes relieved) when I actually wake up. They can be so scary or disturbing that that terrified feeling sticks with me for days. that one hasn't happened for a long time, but this particular instance seemed epic enough to blog-ify. This Dream happened a few weeks ago, but I still remember it well.

So I'm sitting at a table, in a classroom type setting. Outside it's bright and sunny. Next to me is my buddy Chloe, and the room is full of attractive, if a bit skanky-looking girls. An older chick is at the front, explaining the facts of being a Suicide Girl (this is weird, because at this point I was really not into the idea). I got the feeling this was some kind of training or try-outs. Each girl basically stripped down to their underwear and was scrutinized for the class on their best and worst traits. I know all of this has nothing to do with being a Suicide Girl, it's just the way it worked in this dream. I get this feeling of uneasiness, and I wonder what I'm even doing here because there's no way I compare physically to any of these girls. So my turn comes, I get nervous, and I ask if I can go into the next room to change. And things get weird.
I step into an empty room adjacent to the classroom, one with a large window running from ceiling to floor. I notice that not only is it now dark out, but I'm several stories above the ground. I walk up to the window and stare up at the sky, and It looks much more vivid than normal. Like I can see planets up close and in detail, and the blackness between them sort of sparkled like glitter. So I think,"Chloe should see this, she'll be all wtf," and I go back to the classroom and grab her (I think everyone else just went on without me). We look out the window, and I get completely mesmerized by what I'm seeing. Suddenly, out of nowhere a fucking giant reptilian eye appears in front of the window. As it moves back I scream, and the next thing I know this giant alligator jaw has smashed through the window and bitten down over me and Chloe. We're still standing on the floor, only now we're surrounded by the roof of this alligator's mouth. anywho, it reopens its jaws, giving us a chance to dash the fuck away from the window and into a hallway.
What comes next is a lot of running. Running down stairs and around various buildings, hoping that I lost the thing. A frenzied sprint through the city reveals that there are several more of these giant alligators, apparently staging an invasion from space, and eating lots of people as they go. I've lost track of Chloe at this point. I reach the edge of the city, an area somewhat resembling the Dells, and it's nearly morning. A group of survivors are taking a motorboat away from the attack, and I run after it, jumping off a cliff and barely making it aboard.
Fast forward like a year. I guess that gave the giant alligators time to conquer Earth and convert its government into a depressing totalitarian one. Everyone works in gray buildings and anyone who steps out of line is fed to the giant alligators. I guess I've become part of the resistance, and we are attempting to infiltrate the city and rescue several of our friends. Select people are given positions of power, and told they won't be eaten as long as they turn in troublemakers regularly. We sneak into a building where our friends are being kept, and more running and fighting ensues throughout. Toward the top of the building I am stopped by one of these people in charge, and the funny part is I think it was Chloe. I'm grabbed from behind and dragged off, then find myself tied to a chair, waiting for the alligators to show up and pass judgement. I get the idea in my head that Chloe might come save me, but I'm really too terrified for that thought to help me calm down. This is the first point in the dream where I realize that I might actually be dreaming, and I desperately hope it's true. While I wish for some sign or something to wake me up, I feel the ground shake with heavy steps. Luckily, this is when Zane's alarm clock went off, and giant alligators quickly became a thing of the past.

I know, you'll be surprised to hear I wasn't smoking a thing that night.


Songs are fun. I've never been very into MGMT, but this is my favorite song right now. So happy and mellow ^^






Speaking of Lovecraft, the part where the people pull the moon down and cut it open really reminds me of "The Colour out of Space". But if that rainbow goo really were the shit at the center of the meteor, they really shouldn't be rubbing it all over themselves like that 0.0

The Internet: The Fucking Frontier

"If you love the Internet so much, why don't you marry it?"

Geez, maybe I will.

I've never been one to blog. My attention span wanes quickly, and I have issues with commitment. I've always seen blogging and similar practices as something you have to work at, and have patience for, sort of like a serious relationship. After a failed tirade with Fanfiction.net, Facebook has been my go-to gal (you know, in the "instant gratification" sort of way). And 4chan? Er... call him my abusive booty-call that I reserve for the wee hours when I'm bored.

However, the Internet deserves better. I believe the day is drawing nearer when you will be defined by your Internet identity. There is no denying its power for good or evil. It can't be tamed or limited, or charged for by the hour (the government can keep dreaming, MY Internet is no whore).

So, here goes. May be we can start over and try again.